Dragon up!
whoa!
Ya heard!
Jake, get back to work!
Aw, man!
Ear of the dragon.
Hi, Jake. Can I bring your private journal
to show and tell tomorrow?
What?! No!
Get out of here!
I promise not to read the section
or all those love songs you wrote for that--that--
That Rose girl.
Waah!
That isn't gonna work, Haley.
Waah!
I'm ignoring you.
But I'm so sa-a-d!
I don't ca-a-re.
Waah!
Ok. Let's hear it.
Every show and tell, Olivia meers brings in her cat.
So? Her rare, award-winning cat, miss tinkles.
Olivia ends up getting all the attention every time,
the sweet, sweet attention
we both know to be rightfully mine.
Well, you gotta step your game up, Haley.
You need to show-and-tell something
that will blow that fancy cat of hers
right out of the water!
I know, but what's better than a kitty?
I am not going to school to get poked,
drooled on, and misscratched
by a bunch of snotnosed kids.
Forget about it!
Come on, fu. Haley needs you.
Sorry, sweetheart. Ask me anything else,
that will get me to be shown-and-telled at your school.
Tomorrow is sloppy Joe day.
D-did you say sloppy Joes?
We talkin' all-you-can-eat? Always.
Meat-to-bean ratio? 3-to-1, at least.
Deal.
Hey, kid?
Whoo. Can you pull this thing over?
'Cause I think I'm---gonna be cratesick.
Shh! No talking!
And you have to be on your best behavior today.
Hey, it's me. I mean,
yeah, sure, you know, bow-woof.
Sure, that's what I meant.
Thanks, fu dog.
This is gonna be so great!
Yeah, this is the tops.
600 years old, and I'm about to endure
my first day of school. Oy.
Look! Haley brought a dog!
Cool! Let's give her attention!
Ooh, what's his name?
- Fu dog. - Good doggie.
Hee hee hee! His wrinkles look all funny!
Yeah, I'll give you funny.
And how come his rear end is so fat?
Fat? How'd you like a fat lip?
That's all muscle, sweetheart.
And don't you--i--
Woof!
Yeah. Woof. Woofity-woof.
Haley, your dog's bark sounds kind of weird.
Um, he's a shar-pei.
He barks in Chinese.
Hello, children.
Please take your seats.
We'll begin by taking roll.
Then we'll review last night's assignment.
Here. Dog, eat my spelling homework.
I didn't finish it.
Yeah, sure thing, kid.
Tastes like about a b-minus.
Excuse me, Ms. Maguire. Sorry I'm late.
My cat's manicure appointment ran a little late.
I see someone brought in a stupid dog.
Still can't compete with miss tinkles.
I own show and tell.
We'll see about that.
Yuen-yuen.
Well, well, well. Fu dog.
Been a long time.
Hand over the enchanted coin, fu dog!
Fat chance, yuen-yuen.
This open nickel was my dad's lucky coin
and his dad's lucky coin
and his dad's dad's lucky coin
and his dad's dad's dad's--
Well, you get the idea.
Hy!
Whoa!
It shall be mine!
Off my dad's dad's dad's dad's lucky coin!
Aah!
Meow.
Cats. How do they do that?
Better luck next time, pooch.
Aah!
So, we meet again.
It's been a long time.
369 years. But who's countin'?
Are you prepared to dance the sweet tango of combat?
Blah, blah, blah.
Enough small talk, kitten.
Let's talk with our paws.
Dahh!
Hy!
Yah!
Whoa!
Hey!
It's my coin, yuen-yuen.
Not for long, fu dog.
Meow!
Have a nice flight, fu.
A-a-h! Aah!
Meo-w-w-r!
Here goes nothin'.
Yaah!
I hope you don't mind if I make a few alterations
to your parachute.
Hey! What the--
Hey, that's really cool! It's very artistic.
Aw, brother.
Aah! Unh!
So long, fu dog!
This ain't over, yuen-yuen!
You hearin' me?
- aah!
To this day, I still can't stand those paper doll thingies.
And to this day, I have the coin.
We'll see about that, sister.
Ok, class,
we'll have show and tell right after.
I'll bring you back the slo Joes.
Bye, miss tinkles.
Heh heh heh.
That's grand. You posin' as some kid's house cat.
You got a litter box and everything?
Award-winning house cat to you.
Plus I'm rolling in catnip, literally.
You can keep the catnip,
but that coin is mine.
Now, fork it over, baldie.
Let me think.
Ooh! Well, you realize this is about to turn ugly?
Why, is your mother coming?
So it's gonna be like that?
Well, your mother is so bald, she--
Whoa--hey-- Cut the--
I learned this next move at the kennel
in the xiaolin monastery.
Hyah!
I learned that move on flatbush Avenue in Brooklyn.
Eat metal, mutt.
Yaah!
Unh!
So, this is how it ends, fu dog.
Aww, sweetheart, I'm just gettin' rollin'.
Give me that!
Meow-w!
Meow-w-w!
Aah!
We're causin' some real damage here.
Don't we always?
Unh!
Yaah!
W-w-w-w-...
Wow!
Now I know what a vase feels like.
It's-- My, it's--
It's beautiful.
A-plus!
When I find that cat,
I'm gonna put the "" in "meow."
Bingo!
Needs a little more sloppy.
Yuen-yuen...
I hate to waste a 3-to-1 meat-to-bean ratio, but--
Ahem. Hungry?
Yi- Give it up, fu dog!
There is noplace you can hide that coin
that I cannot find it.
Guess again, kitten.
No!
I'll, retrieve it later.
So long, yuen-yuen.
Better luck next millennium.
I'll get you for this, fu dog. Meow-w-r!
Waa--ki---yaah!
Aah!
Curses!
I mean, meow.
School is just no place for a kitty like tinkles.
You'll have to show-and-tell something else from now on.
But--but...
Yes, Ms. Maguire.
Shall dance the sweet tango of battle again.
Yeah, yeah, honey, I'll see ya in a couple hundred years maybe.
Bring your dancin' shoes. Hee hee hee!
Now, let's begin show and tell.
Haley, why don't you start?
Do I even want to know what happened at school today?
Probably not.
It was the best show and tell ever.
Thanks, fu dog.
But we still gotta renegotiate our sloppy Joe deal.
Anything to, you know, help move things along?
You talkin' all-you-can-eat?
Of course. Meat-to-bean ratio?
I'm thinkin' 6-1, at least.
5-1. 5 1/2.
Deal. Whoo-hoo!
Aah!
Smell that, guys?
Yo, I smell a lot of things in this subway car, Jake,
and freedom ain't one of 'em.
Come on, trix. It's Memorial Day.
No school. No dragon training.
No responsibilities.
Coney island beckons.
The dingy yet remarkably sterile first-aid station.
Unless you get something bruised, sprained, or drained.
Look here. This is labor day,
Saint Patrick's day,
flag day,
carpool Thursday.
Stillwell Avenue. Coney island.
Today's not just gonna be some holiday.
It's gonna be the best day ever.
Yo, that ride was crazy!
Come on, y'all! One more again!
I think it did something to my inner ear.
Hey, am I still wearing my hair?
Guys?
I think I might have to go to the, um--
Check the dumpsters!
Not to get all mama Trixie on you,
- but I told you that-- - Yo!
No, thanks, bro. I've seen stomach potpie before.
Not pretty.
No, not that. That!
It's some kind of sideshow,
and the poster says they got a unicorn.
Me and spud saw that show when we was 7.
With a toilet paper tube taped to his head.
Well, thank you for ruining my childhood, Trixie.
Make it quick. We are closing.
Look, but do not touch the talent.
Hey, don't gotta tell us twice.
Hey, you think that beard's real?
Yeah! Real nasty.
Why she don't just go get that thing waxed?
Has it occurred to you
that I rather like the way I look?
Well, has it?!
I could do that after eating my uncle elmo's super ding-ding chili.
If y'all are done makin' fun of us,
I suggest you git!
Whoa.
That ain't hardly the same dog I saw when I was 7.
I-is it?
Aah!
Run for your lives, y'all! Boogie!
Trixie, it's just a unicorn.
Yeah, a horse with a sharp, pointy spear
Trixie does not do unicorns.
Hey, you children,
vat's going on here?
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Humph!
So, what now?
And so the goblin says,
"ogre? I hardly know her!" Ha!
Get it? Ogre?
Get a job!
Jeez, this is a tough crowd.
Fu, check it. I'm at this sideshow on coney island,
and they captured a unicorn,
like a real unicorn!
What? Kid, unicorns can't live for long
separated from their herd.
You gotta get it out of there.
Me? But today's the am drag's day off!
Right. Let me just call the magical protector temp agency
and have 'em send over a substitute.
Ok, ok.
So, where's the herd?
During the last night of the full moon,
so if I don't get the unicorn to central park by tonight, it--
It'll be too late.
Good luck, kid.
Excuse us?
Hey, yo, what up, dude? Your act was so off the hook,
we had to come back for an autograph.
Really? My autograph?
Shh! I'm gettin' you out of here, boy.
I mean, girl?
Just put "to Dorothy."
Moms is crazy about carnies!
You better run along.
I gots to go feed the unicorn.
No!
I was gonna audition to join your sideshow
as, um, contortie the amazing.
Look. I'll show ya. Hoo-yah!
Vat on earth is this commotion?
Ooh, Jake! Get out, man! Run!
Come on! We gotta catch her!
Posthaste! That unicorn is worth its weight in gold!
Trixie, spud!
Grab on!
Hey, yo, what if this freaky thing
tries to eat me or something?
I don't think it eats from that end.
Yay?
Whoa!
Look! They're headin' yonder
toward the racetrack.
And it's finish's wish in the lead,
but slowly gaining is--
This must be some kind of joke, folks,
'cause it looks like a unicorn.
Excuse us. Pardon us. Passin' on the left.
How ya doin'? Ha ha ha!
And by a horn,
it's the unicorn!
Where are the brakes on this thing?
Brakes. That's it!
Wing of the dragon!
Ha. Now, that's what I call winging it.
Yo, Jake, I think this uni-freaky is really diggin' you.
Probably 'cause she knows you're her magical protector.
Come on, girl. Let's airlift you to central park,
dragon-style.
Dragon up!
Hunh!
I... can't... Lift... her.
Um, I'm thinkin' we take the subway.
With a unicorn?
I've seen stranger things than that on the subway.
How we gonna get past them?
Any of y'all seen a weird-lookin' horse around here?
Sorry. Nope.
Yo, we're home free!
Not quite.
Get 'em!
Aah! Aah!
You kids, stop!
Hey!
Yeah, baby! We did it!
All right!
In your face, carnies!
Not so fast.
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Man, this is some day off.
Ok, this train won't stop until 42nd street.
And make a break for central park.
I'll hold off the carnies.
Hurry!
Get her to the Meadow!
Whoa!
You like fireballs?
Vat in the world?!
Ooh, let me guess. You ate the chili?
Whoa!
Dragon up!
Yo, lookin' for me?
That there boy's a dragon.
I say, after him!
They're gaining!
Guys, follow me!
Yo, get up already!
It's no use. We're doomed!
No, we're not!
Look-a here, uni,
but if you wanna keep from being turned into seat covers,
you better check that sass at the door
and shift your magical rump-shaker into overdrive!
Now, gear yourself up, you understand me?!
Whoa!
Crazy! Wow, you rock!
Aw, it ain't no use.
They're gone!
We're almost there.
Here comes the moon!
The back of my front hurts.
Thanks for the ride, uni.
I guess you're not so bad after all.
The herd!
Go ahead, girl! You're free!
I guess she appreciated the effort.
Well, I'm sorry I ruined our best day ever.
This was the best day ever!
A precious unicorn is back with her family,
reunited, and it feels so good.
I couldn't have done it without you.
You know what I smell?
Yeah. That, my friend, is freedom.
Freedom kind of smells like unicorn droppings.